19Sept2020

Despite the opportunities to write that quarantine has created, I haven’t spent any time writing. I’ve been focusing on work and other aspects of life because I feel like I have some type of block against writing. Not writer’s block, where I can’t figure out what to write next. I know what I want to write. I have a block against actually sitting down to write and knock the words out because it seems overwhelming to write. It’s not a mindless activity, especially if you’re a perfectionist. I can’t just write bullshit for a quick half hour and be done. Bullshit wastes my time but in this case, it may be necessary for me to get back to my routine.

I used to be okay with simply writing 200 words per day, so long as it kept me consistent and it was part of a story and not a blog. I’ve had some schedule changes this year which have made it difficult to maintain even that simple routine as easily as I once did. Luckily, using Google Drive has made it easy to write from my phone, even though I hate doing that. I’d much rather sit at a desk with my computer but we all must make do.

Even the editor I’ve lined up has been sending me emails asking where the hell my manuscript is because I’ve been taking too damn long. I’m going to have to divvy it up and send the first half of the manuscript initially in order to get enough time to finish the second half. Then I have to finish my crime fiction short story which turned out to be longer than I had intended. I’m slacking. I need to get on top of this shit.

Have you ever found yourself needing to write and wanting to write but not having the motivation to finish what you started simply because it feels like a thirty page term paper due in two days, you know you need to do it but it seems so daunting you just keep pushing it off?